Self Respect
by RaMMYz
Summary: Gilbert has a dream, of a discipline lesson from himself. GilbertxGilbert Soviet loyalist    Warning: selfcest, rape, gunplay


Scarlet eyes filled with rage and jealousy stared back at the albino. Those eyes were too familiar, Gilbert saw them every morning and every night in the mirror; they were his eyes. How though, could they be staring at him? It wasn't a reflection, this reflection, that stood before him was angry, and yet Gilbert was sure he was wearing a look of shock. The grey uniform that the other wore was not what the Prussian was currently wearing. He dipped his head down to examine his own attire; black pants and a white button down shirt, pretty standard. The cap the other wore was standard issue; Gilbert knew this whole get up. It was the uniform he regretted putting on now a day. The room they were in was more like an abandoned study. The books were old as dirt and falling apart; the desk was rickety and covered in outdated documents. The one armchair and couch were almost 4 decades old. Gilbert's private study he made in Ivan's house. The flag of the DDR that hung behind the desk was the only thing that looked new. "What the hell is going on?" Was all he could scream at the other before him. The "copy" stepped forward, head at an angle that showed the bloodlust in his eyes. "You tell me." He continued to step forward towards Gilbert, calm and collected, yet angry.  
He didn't want to show anymore confusion then he already let on. He continued to stare into his own eyes. "Who are you? You have a name?"  
The other stopped a mere few feet from Gilbert; they were the same height as well. "Ost. I'm surprised you don't recognize me, how pathetic." His anger melted into pure smugness as he stood up straight, almost sizing up the bewildered albino. "How can you be the East, I am the East!" Gil almost lost his cool, he was hotter headed than usual, even pointing, almost touching the other's chest. "No, I am the loyal one, willing to serve my Republik and make sure it flourishes. You are a falsehood." He stepped closer lifting his hand as he now stood right in front of Gilbert. "You mock this place. You daydream about the past and make plans for revolution." Ost tugged hard on Gilbert's hair, forcing his head into a bow. Gilbert let out a small yelp. Pulling him in, Ost placed his lips to Gilbert's ear. "You don't deserve to live. I should be the one standing proudly next to Ivan!"  
Ost's fist slammed hard into Gilbert's stomach, making him fall into his other in pain. Instinct forced Gilbet to grab hold of Ost's uniform for support, and he stared at the one in pain, grimacing. "You're ungrateful to those who have helped you!" He grabbed Gilbert roughly by his hair and forced him eye to eye. "Disgraceful!" He threw Gil to the ground roughly, and before he could push himself off the floor, Ost had a boot on his back forcing him down.  
"Don't worry, Gilbert, I'll be here to show you your place. By the time I'm done with you, you'll crave my views." The smile was familiar again, one he wore in the heat of battle, Ost's blood lust grew and he pushed down harder on the man below him.  
"Get off me! Your nothing but a thought, you're not real!" Gilbert tried his best to sound aggressive, even under the pressure of Ost's boot. "No, dear Prussia, I'm just as real as you!" He leant down and grabbed the front of Gil's shirt, pulling him up again.  
"I have all your memories!" Ost tightened his right fist; the sound of leather tightening made his smile grow. A second latter it connected with Gilbert's face, leaving a beautiful red mark on his left cheek. "…As well as your strengths!" Ost quickly dragged Gilbert's body to an open spot on the wall, and shoved him back first into it, his toes were barely scrapping the ground. He leant in close, lowering Gilbert slightly so he was forced to stand. The hand in Gilbert's hair moved to his shoulder, the other to his cheek, cupping it.  
"…Your ego." The hand on his cheek quickly moved to his forehead pushing the white hair up. Their lips connected roughly, the hand on Gilbert's shoulder squeezed. He could feel nails even under that leather. Gilbert opened his mouth to scream in pain, only to have it invaded by Ost's tongue. The hand on his shoulder moved to Gilbert's throat and squeezed gently. Ost pulled away, studying Gilbert's expression. His eyes were half lidded, tears began to form in the corners, and he was out of breath. "Yo…You're just like that fat drunkard!" Gilbert managed to shout still catching his breath. He dared not look into the other's eyes. Ost tilted his head slightly continuing to take in Gilbert's flustered appearance. "Worse, my dear Prussia, I'm you." Again their lips connected, Gilbert's hands were pushing as hard as he could on the chest of the other, anything to stop whatever was happening. Ost pulled away again, but before Gilbert could breathe, he slammed his head against the wall. Gilbert's eyes danced around the room, and when Ost took a step back releasing him, he slumped to the floor. Ost's laugh rang throughout the room. "Truly pathetic. You're disrespectful! An ungrateful speck of dirt that doesn't deserve this life he has been offered!" Ost knelt down, taking Gilbert's left hand in his. He turned it over, palm down, and snuggled it. "I wanted to prove myself to Ivan. Make him proud of his German war trophy. Then you go and show him we are ungrateful for his offerings, his gifts. You attempt to flee back to our pathetic brother! You deserve the abuse he gives you."  
The anger was now building inside of Gilbert. He watched Ost rub his cheeks against his hand. Ost's own leather clad hands were almost a tiny relief on his wrist and palm. "You're a sad excuse for a Prussian if you think I should just bow down to him after what he's done. How dare you care West Pathetic! How are you me in any way? "  
Ost shot Gilbert a menacing smile and Gilbert recoiled against the wall.  
"Why do you care? You raised the kid only to have him force you into war, and fight battles which you BOTH knew you'd lose. Yet he sent you to your demise anyway. Only in the end, when he realized it, did he acknowledge your internal torment. That you only did what you did, took all those bullets for him, did he appreciate it when it was too late and Ivan was dragging your filleted corpse from the Reichstag. You did unmentionable things to his lands, his children and yet he resurrected you when your friends, your brother, had turned their backs and you spit in Ivan's face still!"  
Gilbert was horror struck. This was not him. Sure West and he had issues but he would forgive his brother. He had always thought about it, Ludwig's insanity, but locked those feeling in the back of his mind. He did it to protect his young brother; it was all for Germany and he failed. Or perhaps, Germany wanted him to fail. Gilbert's mind raced; maybe he did it to kill Gilbert. Countries can only die if their bosses agree to dissolution; maybe this was a way to prove to the world it didn't need Prussia. Gilbert shook his head. No, that wasn't him, that wasn't West.  
Ost watched Gilbert's eyes and expression as it grew more and more in disbelief. He slowly kissed Gilbert's hand, continuing to stare. The truth had to be said, he needed to hear and understand it. Taking the opportunity, Ost pulled Gilbert forward again, grabbing Gil' chin with his right hand. "You owe yourself to Ivan, willingly. He is your God now!" He claimed Gilbert's lips again; small droplets of blood formed at the corner as he lightly nibbled the Prussian's lower lip. Lapping it up, tasting his own life essence, he caressed Gilbert's cheek with his thumb. "Do we understand now?" Ost whispered, slowly pulling away from Gilbert to look into that broken face again. Gilbert's face twisted into that well know smirk, he dipped his head and actually began chuckling. It grew and grew and Ost stepped backed away, if anything to study this reaction. Gilbert used the wall and slowly stood, still laughing and staring into Ost's eyes below. "You think a few messed up, twisted words from your Commie mouth is going to make me hate West? You can't be me then. I died for my brother! I would do it again! Fuck you and fuck Ivan Braginski!"  
His laughs grew again, and Ost stood furiously, shoving Gilbert back into the wall. Ost removed his Makarov pistol from its holster and shoved it under Gilbert's chin. The laughing stopped.  
"Ungrateful little-! Your brother took your life, and Ivan gave you a new one! How can you be so disrespectful, to play with his heart!"  
Gilbert burst into laughter again, continuing even after Ost shoved it against his temple. "Ivan took our life, as ordered by the Allies and Ludwig watched, in tears if you well remember. Ivan pulled the trigger. Did you also forget that he took our heart as well? The only reason he resurrected us was because we were a pawn against the capitalist beyond Checkpoint Charlie. He doesn't care about us, he cares about power and if some horrible fate descends on this Earth and Herr Jones fails, then I guaranty he will kill us."  
Ost's expression of rage returned and actually screamed in anger. Stepping back to allow the other to continue his laughter he raised his gun.  
"You are useless!"  
SLAM!  
The gun collided with Gilbert's face, knocking him to the ground. The laughter instantly ceased and Ost grabbed Gilbert again, this time forcing him against the wall face first. The wind was knocked out of him and he felt Ost's tighten grip around his waist. "F…Fuck you!" Gilbert screamed out.  
Ost laughed a bit and removed his hand from around Gilbert stepping back and making sure he felt the gun on his back. With his free hand he grabbed Gil's hair and slammed his forehead into the wall. Gilbert barely screamed, but the tears flowed freely, a trickle of blood easing down his face. "Gilbert…You should stop hitting yourself!" He laughed again, the rage laced within each chuckle. "Maybe Ivan's lessons have no effect on you because of your hatred. However, I know you love yourself enough to listen. How about a few lessons from me in discipline!"  
"Th..That makes no sense. What do you know that I don't? We're the same!" Gilbert tried to tilt his head back to face Ost, but to no avail. "True, but it's what we channel that makes us different. You're fueled on your hatred of him, because he separated us from West, on top of numerous other events. I feed off the need to please him, to show him gratitude for what he has done for us. Rebuilt us, gave us life!"  
Gilbert tried to focus; this was stranger then being with Ivan. Ost knew everything about him, there were no surprises, every attack and counter futile. Ost's arm was around Gilbert's waist again, the pistol pointed at his head. The leather clad gloves slowly kneaded Gil's more personal area. He held back a moan, realizing the million things wrong about the situation. Unsatisfied by Gilbert's stubbornness he moved faster, knowing how to coax that sweet moan from himself. Still Gilbert refused to let it out, but Ost knew it was working. He undid the buttons on Gilbert's pants, pulling them down slightly, Gilbert attempted to elbow Ost in the face, but his hand was just as quick, knowing just what Gil would resort to. He leaned in, forcing Gil's arm to support him against the wall. "It gives new meaning to go fuck yourself, at the very least." Ost chuckled and licked the shell of Gilbert's ear. He smiled when he felt the shudder through Gil. "It's sad that you'll enjoy this too much for you to learn any lessons." He continued to rub Gilbert, the hand holding the pistol snaked its way around Gil's waist, the pistol itself hanging threateningly close to his lower region. Ost smiled again, and began playing rough, just how he likes it. Gilbert made a small sound which was all Ost needed. He raised his gloved hand to Gil's mouth placing the fingers against his lips. "Don't make me ask." "Su..such an assh…hole. No-"  
Ost shoved his fingers into Gilbert's mouth. Before Gil could bite down Ost quickly moved his hand out fast enough, so only the extra material was bit. He pulled his hand away and the glove dropped to the ground. Much to Gilbert's disappointment in his failed attempts to hurt Ost. The smile grew on Ost's face as Gilbert dipped his head; most likely his eyes were closed. His hand went back to work, removing the throbbing member from his boxers. "I knew you'd enjoy this. We really are depraved!" Ost laughed and began roughly stroking Gilbert, in all the ways he knew how. Within seconds Gilbert was moaning and Ost released him. Gilbert had felt the hard length against his ass for awhile now, it wasn't a surprise when he heard Ost dropping his pants. "Are you fucking serious?" Gilbert screamed out. He regretted moaning and pumping into his other's hand at this point, clearly knowing where it was going to end up.  
"Please, like our ego couldn't handle it. Just do me a favor." The hand holding the pistol disappeared behind him. The other gripped Gilbert's hip tightly.  
"Wh..what?" He looked up finally, again attempting to look himself in the face.  
Ost laughed again. "Scream for me." He slammed the pistol into Gilbert's ass.  
The albino fists tightened, blood began to flow from the palms, a scream ripped through his throat and tears streamed from his eyes. Ost slowly began pumping him, shoving it further in with each thrust. The screaming grew, and it only turned Ost on even more. Skin tore below and blood began trickling down Gilbert's inner thigh. "ST..STOP!" Gilbert managed to choke up, but Ost only grew rougher, kneeling now to get a better grip, lapping up the blood on Gilbert's legs.  
After a few more minutes of Gilbert's cries, Ost removed the pistol, and Gilbert fell to his knees, crying and clawing against the regal wall paper. "I hope you're not done! I know we have more stamina!" Ost again grabbed Gilbert by the hair, forcing his head back, his back arched and his knees ached from the strain. Ost stood, and held the bloody pistol to Gilbert's mouth. "Clean it!" He smiled softly at himself who only glared back, tears sticking to his face. He closed his eyes.  
"Fuck you!" Ost slammed the pistol across Gilbert's face, raising another painful scream from him. He took the opportunity and shoved it into Gil's mouth. The albino's eyes shot open and he gagged as Ost pumped it, demanding Gilbert to just listen and clean it. Every time he said no he received another smack to the face. It wasn't long before the bruises swelled and Ost grew more enraged. He leaned in close, eye level with his abused self. "I will pull the trigger if you bite me. I will then live through you, I'm sure Ivan will be most pleased with my plans for Ludwig." Even with the broken face, anyone could see the terror in Gilbert's face. Ost smiled and presented his own cock to Gilbert,  
"You have done so much for our brother. Why don't you save him again, this time from us." Shaking, Gilbert moved his hand to Ost's hip, the other to the familiar shaft, and opened his mouth. As he worked he realized just what this entity was. It was all of his emotions he locked away, everything he refused to be. He had no idea bottling up emotions would lead to them personifying. Ost fucked his own mouth and laughed the entire time, while Gilbert cried and drowned in his emotions. He pulled out and threw Gil to the floor face first. Before he could make a move Ost was on him; shoving himself inside Gil's abused entrance. His thrusts were wild and rough, ruthlessly fucking himself. Gil could no longer scream, he swallowed hard and thrust backwards in attempt to ease the assault. A trick he used on nights when Ivan was particularly more violent than usual. Ost laughed harder, realizing what Gilbert was doing.  
"See, giving in hurts a lot less!" He clawed Gilbert's hips, bruising them; the blood began to flow between his legs again. Their motions grew in rhythm, and Gilbert managed to scream again as Ost lifted him to sit on his cock. He hung limply in Ost's arms while being ruthlessly fucked. Ost bit into Gilbert's shoulder, he locked his jaw and rode the orgasm as long as he could before pulling out, without Gilbert reaching climax. He sat up, still shaking and examined Gilbert's broken abused body. "I would have made Ivan proud!" He laughed out of breathe. Gilbert was shaking too, more for the need to climax; he moved his hands between his legs.  
"I guess we learned nothing today." Ost exclaimed in disappointment. Gilbert obviously heard, and managed to stop himself. Turning on his back he looked at Ost, he was begging. Ost threw back his head laughing loudly. "Or maybe you did." The tears had stopped flowing down Gilbert's face, there was nothing left. When Ost moved towards him, Gilbert latched onto his shoulders and spread his legs. "So I have succeeded. Ivan will be pleased!" Ost gently stroked Gilbert with one hand and pulled his bleeding head to his chest, almost hugging him. "Compromise is the essence of diplomacy. If you prove your loyalty, he will return it with love." Gilbert closed his eyes and focused on the pleasure. All this pain came from refusal and disobedience, perhaps he should play loyal butt monkey for awhile. Ost moved his head down and took Gilbert whole, sucking and pumping, Gil rucked his hands into Ost's hair, attempting to return those thrusts from earlier. His head flew back and he finally climaxed. Ost holding what he could in his mouth moved up and claim Gilbert's mouth, tasting himself, he swallowed. The both of them fell back against the stained Oriental rug out of breathe. Ost still chuckling he turned to Gilbert, whose eyes were slowly closing, exhausted from the activity. "Bring this lesson with you, or I'll return. I promise you it'll be worse!"  
Gilbert blacked out, seeing that familiar smile.

"..bert..Gil..Bert…..GILBERT!"  
Gil woke up in a rush, falling out of the large bed. He moaned loudly in pain and looked up. Ivan Braginski was staring, concerned even. "Gilbert, are you okay?" He leaned down and took the albino in a large bear hug, pulling him to his feet.  
"CR..CRUSHI..ING!"  
Ivan released Gilbert and smiled innocently. "You were having a terrible dream, da?" He placed his hands on Gilbert's shoulders. For the first time in 19 years, Gilbert did not push him away. Instead he stared into Ivan's eyes, searching for the answer he knew the Russian didn't have.  
"I ugh…yea…bad dream I guess." Ivan quickly removed his hands, unable to read Gilbert's emotions. He was calm for once, quiet. "I'm glad you're okay then. I'll leave you to your morning activity." He turned to leave.  
"Umm...Hey Brag…Ivan, do you…want to have breakfast together today?" Gilbert scratched his head avoiding eye contact. Ivan stopped and turned to Gilbert smiling. "I would love that!" Before the German could respond Ivan was already out the door.


End file.
